Monday, October 29, 2007

Love for all things Beary!

If you love bears and want them to be part of your wedding, here's what you can do for yourself and your guests.

Make your own wedding bears at Build-A-Bear Workshop. You get to do everything yourself, from stuffing a bear to dressing it up. There are tons of accessories to chose from. Even bridal gowns and tuxedos for the little bear. What's more, you can even invite your friends to a Build-A-Bear Workshop for an unforgettable hen party. All is possible at this party, your friends can make their very own special bears or even create a bear specially for you with a recorded message placed inside the bear.

Visit www.buildabear.com.sg for more information or you could pop down to their shop at #02-17/18 Southlink Bridge of VivoCity and HarbourFront Centre.






Saturday, October 13, 2007

Choosing your favorite wedding music

You do want to keep in mind your budget. I think there are several routes you can take to achieve your goal and not spend a fortune.

When my youngest daughter was in high school she played violin. Her music teacher got married and she had her students play strings at the wedding. Wasn't that a great idea for wedding music? Even if you're not a teacher maybe you could work something out with some students.

My middle daughter had her sister's teacher and a small group of strings play her wedding music for a small fee. It was just beautiful. They both had a DJ at the reception.

A DJ is a good choice for music. You can have it all for not too much money. It could include music for the ceremony and the reception as well as the DJ being emcee for the party.

You may know of a local band that you like that you could get a good deal from. Make sure they know the songs you want to hear. That especially applies to the song for the first dance.

The location of the wedding and reception would certainly dictate what you use to make music. A beach wedding for instance, would be a great place for someone just playing the guitar. It would work great at any kind of wedding actually. I once had a young man play Spanish guitar at a function and it was very beautiful. Use whatever method that is inexpensive and would work for you. It will be beautiful.


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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Monday, October 1, 2007

Lessons in Marriage Communication

Your Ears

What has happened to healthy conversation between husbands and wives, between parents and children?

Fast-paced living has robbed us of God's gift of converse. Yet it can be retrieved with a little thought and effort, mainly based on self-giving rather than selfishness in communication.

Try the following for starters:


(l) When listening to your spouse, truly listen with all you've got.

Sometimes the temptation is to fake a listening stance, just posing. It is nodding without really hearing, smiling while the mind is wandering, laughing when hardly picking up the joke.

In time, the other person figures out that the conversation is basically going one way. That is hurtful.

But when one truly listens, the vibes are there! The frequencies are strong. The one talking knows for certain that the other individual is all "into it." That is communicating with style!



(2) Don't interrupt.

Some couples spend whole conversational segments tossing sentences into the air for the other's knives to jab them at every flip. Periods at ends of sentences have time off for they simply never their chances to play the game.

If two people talk to one another, it should be WITH one another. That means that one should get to talk while the other listens; then vice versa. That means that each individual has the democratic chance to find his own period at the end of his own sentence.

How frustrating it is to be interrupted, not just once, but constantly. When that occurs, tempers get hot, facial expressions get contorted and nerves get shredded. For some, this becomes literally a lifestyle of "giving it back and forth."

Have patience with the one speaking. Practice common courtesy and let that person finish the sentence, the paragraph. When a pause is forthcoming, then pick-up and respond. There is more fun when playing the game by the rules.



(3) Stare into her eyes.

That's right. Look right into her face and let her know that you are glued! It is the same with him--let him know that he is the center of your universe at that particular moment. Rivet your vision onto the other person's to discover that you are most welcomed to enter deeply into that personality.

Can there be anything quite as frustrating as talking to a moving target? Of course, that is what much of today's life unfortunately is about--fast talk, fast jabs, fast nothing. Then we wonder why we rarely connect? Why life is increasingly empty?

Look into that other person's eyes so that there is no question that you are giving full attention. This is particularly crucial when in a group setting where others may have a yen to interrupt your twosome. Rarely allow that. Interrupters are hyper discourteous people who usually don't mean harm but still are unthinking by their intrusions.

You can beware of the intruders and thereby beat them at their first punches. Simply continue to look into the original talker's face, not permitting your gaze to slide away into the intruder's eyes. The interrupter usually gets the message in quick order. In other words, you are rightfully saying to that conversational stranger: This conversation has its boundaries and you have just crossed them. Please don't try that again. It's not nice.



(4) Allow for a breather.

Some partners discover early that one talks more than the other. Perhaps one talks too MUCH more than the other.

When that occurs, it can be a bit overbalanced and that off-tilt can lead to an individual's lack of attention, or artificial listening while thinking about other things. In other words, one individual may simply come to tolerate the constant haranguing of the other. That is not truly communicating, obviously. It is merely putting up with annoying sounds.

Be conscious of time fences when you are talking to your spouse. Give him a chance to have his say. Giver her her time. That is only fair and makes basic sense. So groove it into place early on.



(5) Learn how to ask really thoughtful questions.

This is especially true when speaking with a person who tends to be shy. Draw that person out into deeper conversational levels by asking about his activities of the day, her schedule for tomorrow, what is going on his head, what preoccupies her past times.

People really do crave for others to be interested in them. Question-asking is one fond way to probe about kindly into another's heart and head.

Then when the person answers your question, listen attentively. Let the spouse know for certain that you asked the query because you are genuinely interested in the responses.



(6) Take time out to sit and talk.

After the evening meal can be a useful time slot at this point. Eat your main course at the table, and with the children romping about with their desserts gulped down, why can't mother and father take their desserts to the living room---coffee or tea accompanying.

In that milieu, just sit and talk and eat. Relax. Unwind. The meal dishes can wait to be stacked in the dishwasher.

Ask about one another's day. Find out what the evening's schedule holds. Pick around at some insignificant items of the day. Steer away from being totally business, totally serious.

The same sit-and-chat past time can sneak in happily upon you on a Saturday morning when neither spouse has to trot off to work. Or Sunday evening before going to bed is a really pleasant moment or two to have a light snack and talk about sweet nothings.



(7) Try to stay away from negatives.

In some marriages, one partner or the other tends to be negative--griping, picking, finding fault, raising problems into mega proportions when they are actually mini-sized, and so on.

This can become a habit. It can also be quite annoying to the other person.

When a negative spouse tends to overdo it, it is quite appropriate for the other partner to point this conversational slant out for reframing. Suggest that for this particular evening, nothing negative, no really heavy problem, is going to be brought up.

Try this over and over so that one can begin to change his or her negative habit. In time, the downer partner actually can revamp conversation by revamping one's outlook on life.



(8) Toss a lot of life situations into prayer baskets.

One believer can remind the other that it is time to quit fretting and start trusting God with the practical nettles of life. This is not necessarily dodging responsibilities; it is really meaning business when it comes to real-life faith.

"I think we should give that one over to God," can be the simple suggestion. The light bulb goes on in the other's head. "Good idea," is usually the correct response.

It is not that one spouse is more spiritual than the other; it is just that the grind of life can cause us to forget that God is really on our side. We need to take situations to Him more frequently and let worry go fly.

Looking Good on Your Wedding Day!



You can improve how radiant you look on the big day with your diet, cleansing routine and general lifestyle. There are also plenty of things you can do on the day itself to maintain that centre-of-attention look.

A six-month countdown is recommended to make sure you look as radiant and healthy as possible on your wedding day, but brides who only have a few weeks to prepare can still see some stunning results.

Eating a balanced diet and exercising regularly are an essential part of the preparation.

Exercise will give your circulation a major boost and flush away the toxins that cause blemishes in the skin. Aim for 30 minutes of gentle exercise per day.

Eating plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, drinking around eight glasses of water a day, reducing your alcohol consumption and cutting out smoking will help prevent your skin from looking dowdy and dull. Try to make sure you get a good night's sleep of about eight hours in the weeks or days before the wedding.

However, there's more to looking good on the day than just being healthy.

"It's important to cleanse, tone and moisturise every day to get rid of any impurities," says Joanne Leah, a beauty therapist of six years who's also a member of the British Association of Beauty Therapy and Cosmetology.

Facials are also recommended as long as you start having them regularly a few months before the wedding. Trying one a few days beforehand is a mistake, as it could lead to a blotchy face.

Getting your hair in shape is also important.

According to the experts you should wash your hair whenever you feel you have to, usually every few days, and make sure it has a deep condition about once a month. This is where the product is combed through and left on for at least ten minutes.

Massaging your scalp with shampoo while washing will stimulate the blood flow and encourage the growth of healthy hair. And when dry, brushing will again stimulate the scalp and also get rid of any dead hair.

Advice from Vidal Sassoon says you should work out well in advance the way you want your hair to look. If you want to have it cut, make sure it's done about a week before the big day. This will make sure your style keeps its shape, but also has time to settle.

Your feet and hands shouldn't be forgotten either. Beauticians suggest a manicure and pedicure at a beauty salon every few weeks before the wedding, which normally includes a foot massage to stimulate the skin.

"At home, you should moisturise your hands daily and soak your feet in warm water for about ten minutes, twice a week," says beauty therapist Rebecca Hale.

"This basically leaves your feet feeling very refreshed, particularly if you use some essential oils, such as peppermint.

"When it comes to nails, it's important to file them two or three times a week and maybe push the cuticles back while you're in the bath."

When it comes to choosing your make-up for the wedding, caution is advised. The temptation might be to let a beautician pile on a lot of expensive make-up which may be totally inappropriate, especially for today's more natural look.

It's also important to know your skin colour. This might seem obvious, but you should check whether your skin is yellow or pink toned. Make sure your foundation matches your skin tone exactly, and check it in daylight.

If you are going to be applying your own make-up, beauty guru and professional make-up artist John Gustafson, from BBC's Looking Good Programme, has some sound advice: "Strong, intense shades for lips will be set off by neutral tones on eyes and cheeks.

"Play down eye colours to emphasise your lips. Choose a base eye shade that matches your skin tone and apply all over the eyelid."

He warns against using eyeliner on the top eyelid - it will look dated. And John suggests adding texture to eyes by applying a metallic lustre to the eyelid over a base shade.

Lips are also important on the day itself because of all that smiling, eating and kissing you are likely to be doing.

In order to make your lipstick last longer, apply a layer of foundation and powder to your lips before you put your lipstick on. This will give the lipstick something to grip to.

If you are having a separate evening function, it may be worth reapplying make-up, but don't apply more foundation over old foundation. It will look like rice pudding.

Remove foundation from areas of your face that have seen the most wear and tear. Reapply lipstick and lip gloss.

Finally, don't go to bed in your warpaint. If you don't clean if off at night you'll end up with stained pillow cases and a bad case of spots, which could well be a blemish on your honeymoon as well.

Sealed with a ......

How many times have we heard it recited that we have closed our ears to it. Well, I would want my vows to be special and personalised just for me and him. And if you feel the same way, here's a few that might help make it memorable for the both of you.


I _________, choose you _________ as my best friend, my love for life. I promise you my deepes
t love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care, through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you. I promise to love you, to commit to you, and support you. I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities, to lend you strength for all of your dreams. You have shown me what love feels like and for that I thank you. You are everything I need and at this moment I know all of my prayers have been answered and that all of my dreams have come true. I praise God for you ________ : for all of your love and constant friendship. I know that our love is heaven sent and I promise to be here for ever and always. From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.



I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH....
ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU
GIVE MY LIFE, MY LOVE, MY HEART
AND MY SOUL TO YOU AND FOR YOU'
ENOUGH TO WILLINGLY GIVE ALL OF MY
TIME, EFFORTS. THOUGHTS, TALENTS
TRUST AND PRAYERS TO YOU
ENOUGHT TO WANT TO PROTECT YOU'
CARE FOR YOU, GUIDE YOU, HOLD YOU
COMFORT YOU, LISTEN TO YOU, AND
CRY TO YOU AND WITH YOU,
ENOUGH TO BE SILLY AROUND YOU
NEVER HAVE TO HIDE ANYTHING FROM
YOU, AND BE MYSELF WITH YOU.........
I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO SHARE ALL OF
MY SENTIMENTS, DREAMS, GOALS,
FEARS, HOPES, AND WORRIES
MY ENTIRE LIFE WITH YOU
ENOUGH TO WANT THE BEST FOR YOU,
TO WISH FOR YOUR SUCCESS
AND TO HOPE FOR THE FULFILMENT
OF ALL OF YOUR ENDEAVOURS
ENOUGH TO KEEP MY PROMISES TO YOU
AND PLEDGE MY LOYALY AND
FAITHFULLNESS TO YOU.
ENOUGH TO CHERISH YOUR FRIENDSHIP
ADORE YOUR PERSONALITY, RESPECT YOUR VALUES
AND SEE YOU FOR WHO
YOU ARE....
I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOU
COMPROMISE FOR YOU AND SACRIFICE
MYSELF FOR YOU IF NEED BE]
ENOUGH TO MISS YOU INCREDIBLE WHEN
WE ARE APART, NO MATTER WHAT LENGHT OF
TIME ITS FOR AND REGARDLESS OF
THE DISTANCE
ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP
TO STAND BY IT THROUGH THE WORST
OF TIMES, TO HAVE FAITH IN OUR
STRENGTH AS A COUPLE, AND TO NEVER EVER
GIVE UP ON US
ENOUGH TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE
WITH YOU, BE THERE FOR YOU, WHEN YOU NEED
OR WANT ME, AND NEVER EVER WANT TO LEAVE YOU
OR LIVE WITHOUT YOU....
I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH..............



What can I say to you that I haven't already said,
What can I give you that I haven't already given,
Is there anything of me that isn't yours already,
My body, my mind, my heart, even my soul,
Everything that is me belonged to you long before this,
And it shall be yours long after this,
I will follow you anywhere and everywhere you lead,
Hand in hand and heart in heart.

Creating a Wedding Budget

As weddings are beginning to become more extravagant and expensive it is becoming increasingly important for couples to establish a budget for their wedding and also to stick to this budget. There may sometimes be an occasion where an item goes over budge but this should be the exception instead of the rule. Furthermore when you do find yourself going over budget on a particular aspect of your wedding, it is important to re-evaluate your budget and determine if there is anywhere that you can redistribute your funds so that your total budget does not increase. This may sound excessive but if you do not maintain control of your budget you may find that things escalate to the point where you are going into significant debt to pay for your wedding.

One of the most important aspects of establishing a budget for your wedding is to have an open conversation regarding the budget with all the parties who will be involved with paying for the wedding. It is important that this conversation take place before the planning gets underway so that everyone involved has a chance to voice their opinion before purchases are made and binding contracts are signed. This step is also important because it makes everyone involved aware of the budgetary restraints so that they understand the ramifications of overspending on one aspect of the wedding.

After the budget has been discussed there should be a consensus regarding the amount of money that will be available for the wedding planning. Once this overall number is established, it is wise to start assigning percentages to each portion of the wedding. This may include, but is not limited to, the food at the reception, the food at the cocktail hour, centerpieces at the reception and flowers the ceremony, transportation for the bridal party, the bride and grooms’ wedding attire, flowers for the bridal party, a photographer and a DJ or band. An example of setting percentages is that you may decide that you are going to spend 35% of your overall budget on the food for the reception and a much smaller percentage for the centerpieces at the reception.

When creating your budget it is important to prioritize the different elements of the budget to determine which items should receive the largest budgets. For example if the bride is adamant about having a very elegant and opulent dress for the wedding but is less concerned about the flowers that she and her bridesmaids carry, it might be advisable to allocate enough money for the dress she wants and plan on saving money by purchasing silk flowers or less expensive bouquets. Understanding the priorities of the couple will help everyone involved with the wedding planning to see which items they should plan on splurging on and which items they might want to really comparison shop for in order to find an inexpensive alternative.

Once a budget has been agreed upon, it is recommended that you set the budget aside for a few days and that begin shopping around but that you not start spending money just yet. After a few days have passed, everyone can meet again to review the budget. This gives everyone a few days to think about what they have decided and even start pricing a few items just to determine whether or not their budget is feasible. During this time you may realize that you have underestimated or overestimated one or more aspects of the wedding and that the budget needs to be re-evaluated.

The importance of establishing a budget for a wedding cannot be underestimated. If you fail to set a budget or do not adhere to your budget you may find yourself in serious financial trouble that results from your wedding.